Dear Self,

Just for future reference: when your version of Unattainable Coworker walks by and asks, "how are you doing?" and you mishear him and think he says, "what are you doing?"... do NOT assume he would want to hang out with you outside of office hours and is in fact asking what you are doing tonight, and therefore, please refrain from blurting out "Open Mic Night!" so quickly that he can't even understand what you are saying so that you are forced to repeat "open - mic - night" three times before you realize that he is not in fact asking whether or not you have plans tonight, and he realizes that you are a complete weirdo. (And then you turn beet red and throw yourself out the nearest window, taking your dignity with you.)

Bust,
CF