Dear 100 Calorie Packs,

You are the biggest bullshit of my life. I didn't ask you to ration yourself for me, thanks. Whoever invented the term "portion control" is clearly a loser. Don't people know that eating, much like everything else, is a competition? Why stop with one serving, if you can do more?! More is always better, especially when there is beef or chicken involved. If I don't finish my plate, I feel as if I've failed. This may be due to the horrible ploy my parents created as a child called "the clean plate club". Not wanting to ever be considered a nonmember, I strive to eat massive amounts. Considering that I am no longer a "growing girl", maybe I should question this mentality. Oh wait, i don't care. Maybe I will when I'm morbidly obese.

Ok yea, I'm gonna need like 10 of you,
A