Dear men who wear mandals,

DEALBREAKER. I'm sorry, but if you are wearing strappy leather sandals (with or without velcro), I can no longer think of you as an attractive human being. I know it's unfair, but you look like your mother dressed you. Besides, those in combination with your Tommy Hilfiger carpenter jorts are making me want to vom.

i'm also guessing there are moobs under that short-sleeved button down,
A