Dear Black Female Rappers,

I am highly entertained by your obscene lyrics. I think it is hysterical/totally hot that you talk about how your goodies are the shit. You come up with pseudonyms and adjectives I've never even heard of to describe your p*ssy power. Lil Kim, i hear you're like a lollipop, your "shit come in flavors". Hot. Missy, word on the street is you can put your "thang" down flip and reverse it. Can you teach me? Remy Ma, you're conceited, you got a reason. If I could do anything in life (besides learn how to be a phenomenally limber stripper) I would become a bangin black rapper bitch with massive T&A. I would talk about how amazing I was to phat beats all day long. I would show up to award shows feeling classy in clear plastic heels and pasties. I would make videos of shots of my ass jiggling in slow-motion as I winded down a pole, sipping Crys at the same time. God, that would be awesome.

Dimin',
A aka the Badass Bitch