Dear Larry Birkhead,

Congrats to you, paternity test winner! I never doubted that you and Anna had a steamy (Loratab induced) love affair resulting in the child we all know as Daniellyn. I always knew Howard was a complete charlatan, especially after his phony meltdown on Access Hollywood. Now go out and purchase a diaper-genie, you goofy bastard.

Hooray!
A