Dear random Baltimore street bums who "holler" at me while I'm walking to class,

Please stop. I know this may come as a huge surprise to you, but I actually do NOT want to have sex with you. I just don't. And while it may seem like an expression of endearment, me giving you the finger and telling you to fuck off is NOT an invitation for you to proceed with the harassment. Most girls may view a cat call as a direct invite for sex or for creating a fulfiling relationship out of thin air, and most girls may think your "rugged" appearance and perpetual state of inebriation is attractive, but I just don't. Growing out your beard and carrying around a 40 is SO last season.

Take a hint,
Summer