Dear Disgusting Males Who Love to Whack it While Driving,

While I'm flattered that you correctly recognized that I am so bangin' that looking at me can easily produce a successful hand job, I must say I'm grossed out. You must be:

A) a desperate retard
B) seriously too busy for 'down time' or
C) just a total sickout.

I'm not giving you the benefit of the doubt, so I'm assigning you to option C. Please, take your probably diseased parts out of the window, and back into your pants, and never repeat this scenario again.

You'll never get my goodies,
Crystal

P.S. I saw the wedding ring on the hand with which you were pleasuring yourself... I must say this confused me. Were you trying to invite me to a threesome, tell me you were leaving her for me, or just trying to make me jealous....?