Dear Food,

I have what most people call a problem/addiction. I ingest you in very large amounts, and have done so for many years/all my life. It is my belief that my consumption of ungodly amounts of you is in some way connected to the starving kids in Africa. Somewhere in the near future I am going to have to start cutting back bc you and my body are just not getting along as well as you used to. Given the choice to eat you in ridiculous amounts, or sport a rockin bod...well you know.

Still obsessed with you,
Crystal