Dear Boy,

Ok, we've been talking for a while now. We really hit it off; banter and flirting and crushing. What we have is nice; what we have can't last. I've known from the beginning this would never last. You're not really what I'm looking for: you're too short, you're a stoner, you never went to school, you didn't have a job for the first few months I knew you, and you have an extremely shady past. On top of all the reasons why we can't work is the fact that I am moving in less than a year. Way less than a year. But still, seeing you online tonight, and us not even talking really hurts. It's sad that after our first romantic date, things had to go way south. I just don't understand why I can't stop thinking about you. On the bright side: At least I won't have you deepthroating me and making me look like I have a giant bush with your Jewfro.

Kevie