Dear Super K-mart,

You are sooo not super. How can you possibly be if you run out of pork sausage at 2 in the morning on a saturday night??? I mean, isn't that the time when all 85 of your late-night employees restock your shelves for hungry college students? They sure had me fooled when I saw them moving and unpacking random boxes and containers. Maybe it was just to throw me off and ruin my bi-weekly naked sunday brunch with my boo. Idk, but is it too much to ask for sausage?! Is it?!!!

You disgust me with your punk-assery,
TR