Dear Life,

Um, so I'm getting kind of worried. It's my birthday, I have friends, and I have an apartment. It only makes sense to have a party, but now I'm extremely nervous thinking about how many people I invited and what that actually means. Sure, it's fun to be popular, but did I really need to invite this guy?! I'm thinking that maybe I should have been a little more thoughtful when I made an evite for 60 people (and their significant others) when I have a tiny apartment.

Here are my concerns...
(a) my carpet will look leopard print by the end of the night
(b) when I need to go throw up in my bathroom, there will be a line
(c) my VERY QUIET apartment complex is going to be VERY angry at me and my lack of consideration
(d) the cops may be called
(e) I will be too drunk to tell them my name when they're taking me in

this could be amazing or an intensely bad idea. we'll see!
A

P.S. Happy Birthday to me! (on Sunday)