Dear Boy Who Has Been In My Life For The Past Year,

You really have caused me nothing but trouble. YOU contacted me, begged me to date you for months, when i finally cave and go out with you, you tell me "i'm not interested in a relationship" (4 MONTHS after we begin seeing each other, having sex, etc.) And i was totally cool with that. Sure, we continued sleeping together occasionally. Yeah, i was "your girl" according to the entire fucking City of Pittsburgh. You also cock-blocked me on MULTIPLE occasions from really nice dudes, and now that i am quasi-dating one, you make fun of him/us. Oh, yeah. And i know about all of the other girls, too. But i'm stupid and i stuck around regardless.

Well, listen up. All of that is cool. But you really fucking proved yourself to be an asshole when you decided that you'd take your band out of the lineup of entertainment for the benefit I am planning for my friend's son. Thanks for your help. And thanks for your encouraging words of "you aren't going to make any money that weekend." Yeah, well, Go To Hell because i AM going to make money, and i'm going to find much
better bands than yours to play that will bring a better crowd.

Your alpha-malery is going to catch up to you soon. Starting with me. Treating girls like princesses when they are around other guys specifically to deter them from checking me out is S.H.A.D.Y.

also: i am a much cuter, nicer and i dance better than the other girls you see.

No Longer Your Pawn-
cj

ps: i'm going to be angry about this for a while.