dear UF,

i didn't really want to go to you ANYWAYS.
gainesville is a concrete-y shithole of a town where there are only two types of people (type a wears jorts, roams the city shoeless, and has significantly less than a full set of teeth; type b is a cocky asshole bastard majoring in Biochemistry with a minor in Making Other People Feel Insignificant) and that always reeks of mushrooms.

but i would have liked it if you accepted me anyways.
because the fact that you accepted the stupidest girl that i have ever met and rejected ME, a shining beacon of fluid intelligence, in the snootiest letter i have ever read, makes me want to punch you in the face.

and probably doesn't even know what the SAT is.
so i just want to know, what was wrong with my 1380 and my 3.67 unweighted gpa??

therefore, UF, please suck my dick as soon as possible....
because it will NOT be coming (heh) to you as a member (heh) of the oh-so-prestigious Class of 2012.

i'm not bitter OR jealous,


Anonymous said...

Here's to taking a year off, lady.


jec said...


I spend a ton of time working in gainesville. it sucks. be happy you will end up at a more exciting college town. good luck

clare said...

you're too good for that shit anyway. In 15 years when you're hella successful, you can roll your Benz past the admissions office, middle fingers skyward.

Anonymous said...

Same thing happened to me, only with my first choice school. My SAT and GPA were well above par for the institution. I got rejected; a friend of mine who had significantly lower stats got accepted. After graduating from college, from masters, and getting my dream job I realized I would have never changed my experience or school for the world. You'll succeed wherever you go if you make the best of it.