Dear TV Guide Channel,

Is it possible for you to put two MORE annoying people together for your Academy Awards red carpet coverage? I thought Joan and Melissa were bad but you've taken the cake this time. Joey FATone is a giant perv and Lisa D-list Renna is so plastic it hurts my face just to look at her. Things only get worse when they start to open their mouths. Make it stoppp!!! I just want some decent Oscar coverage with full body shots of celebs so that I can judge them and don't need your mindless mumble getting in the way. I'm turning to Gulianna and Ryan on E! and staying there.

Smell. Ya. Later.
G