Dear Me and Plans for this Weekend,

You're tired, you've had a busy week where you've discovered that getting wasted on week nights and throwing up in the toilets before class is uncool and not a good idea, you're avoiding shady boy that you may or may not have shagged this week and you've now got a spot. So, I was thinking...stay in all weekend masturbating?
Good plan.

Love Jodie (unplugging the phone)