Dear Asshole Sheriff,

I had been sitting in the same fucking plastic chair for 10 hours. Fuck you for almost making me cry when you threatened to make me sit in jail for another 12 hours when I asked you a question. However, then I remembered that you're an obese, uneducated, inbred stupid little fuck and it's not even worth my time. You spend your time power tripping over drunks and crackheads. Plus you look like you have down syndrome. I want to shit on yourface.

Cheers!
C