Dear Self-Control,

I hope you enjoyed your temporary vacation this evening while I was making out with my (completely ineligible) coworker in public. Please realize that it was an unauthorized leave, however, and you will be working overtime henceforth to compensate for that little disappearance.

R

PS I will admit that you were not missed at all. However, you are still a vital team member and your contribution does not go unnoticed.

PPS As a concession, and in order to ease you into the upcoming work load, I will understand if you have to take a break tomorrow, say at lunchtime?