Dear 10 year old,

Stop lying to get out of school. Just because I do it doesn't mean you can. You get out of what, coloring and recess? I get out of way worse shit. Not only did I have to miss class to pick up a fibber, but you made me look like a neglectful nanny who would make a kid go to school sick so she can go to her own classes. If I'm going to neglect you, it's so i can get my drink on, not go to CLASS. Now I'm going to lay down the fucking law, hope you enjoy your weekend of no tv, no playdates, no phone, no computer, and pretty much being imprisoned with your science fair project. Don't worry, I still love your pathological lying ass.

Love,
Your loving nanny