Dear girl who sits next to me at work,

I don't know why you are so paranoid all the time that we are always talking about you. I mean, we do enjoy making fun of your southern twangs and your innocence (i mean c'mon, you call it cussing and you blush when you read a page from a dirty book), but we mostly are making fun of other people the whole day.... it's not like we read blogs 24/7, so there's lots of free time to consider your shortcomings. In closing, please find a more suitable use of your time, like doing starbucks runs for your cubemate and thinking of ways to make the workday pass quickly for the rest of us...peanut m&ms are appreciated.

xoxo
E and J