Dear Brothers,

Ummm. I talk to you maybe a few times each year and see you at major holidays. So, when you both called within a minute and a half of one another this evening "just to talk", you freaked the shit out of me. I spent the first 5 minutes making Bubba 1 promise that Mom and/or Dad hadn't died in a horrible accident. Once I was sure that Mom and Dad were intact, it became all too clear that just bc I asked our parents if they wanted to come visit me sometime soon, they assumed I must be miserable and homesick. God forbid, I just want them to come visit and spoil me! So clearly, Daddy, emailed or called you and said you needed to call me - which you, being oh so obedient did - at the same fucking time.

Anywho, it was sincerely great to talk to you. I do love you both dearly in our own way. But I am on to you. And I am fine. Just itching for spring in this ridiculously long winter that seems to take over NYC. No need to call in the sister suicide watch. Oh - and thanks for rubbing in the fact that it was 78 today - bastards!

Oh, Daddy, you know I love you more than anything else on this earth and you could never possibly do any wrong. But maybe you should individualize your stern emails/calls about being a more proactive family to my brothers on separate days...play it more slyly.

loving my dysfunctional family in all the fucked-upness that it is,
blondie