Dear New Vibrator,

We need to talk. I think we need to take a break.

Although you provide me with mind blowing orgasms you appear to be taking away from my real sex life. It is completely unacceptable. My boyfriend is incredible in bed. I used to have orgasms like clockwork. But ever since you showed up my orgasms with him are few and far between (unless you're involved).

If only his dick could vibrate…

Or if you could kiss me and tell me you loved me…

Don't worry, I won't get rid of you. I'll just tuck you away until the real deal can get me off again.
What are your thoughts on break-up sex??

It's not you, it's me,
M