dear crazy lady on the metro,

i am very sorry that i turned around to see who was yelling a few rows back from me on the orange line today. i did not know that this would upset you so much as to start screaming at me for 10 minutes, proceed to tell everyone on the metro that i'm a bitch who can't mind their own business.... and then take off your pants. no, lady, i do not want your pants.

just another day in dc,
l.c.