Dear Doctors in the E.R.,

Thank you for making me forget about the excruciating pain I would otherwise be feeling by giving me oxycontin, morphine, and loratab. However, I do not appreciate you releasing me with a "muscle strain" despite the fact that (a) that's impossible since I haven't done any physical activity other than sack sessions in months and (b)I'm fairly certain my pain is coming from an internal organ which you were unable to identify.

Hoping I don't die of a mysterious disease because you couldn't figure me out,
A

P.S. Last time I checked, a muscle "strain" doesn't cause you to get progressively worse over 4 days or need 3 Hydracodons just to get through the night.