Dear everyone that I know,

Can you guys just chill the f*ck out for like 2 seconds? I swear to Buddha, I'm going to start choppin toes if y'all mofos don't calm down and stop trying to get on my sh*t list.

Here's who I have so far, as of March 2008:
1) that b*tch, KB (reason: for being born)
2) my bf (only for like 4 seconds tho, reason: for befriending that b*tch, KB)
3) that loser muffin who threatened my sister (reason: because he is mentally challenged on purpose)
4) my car's motor mounts (reason: because they are weak, little bastards!)
5) Ms. Ray (reason: she made me write a 3-page fundraiser proposal and then didn't even read it)
6) My cousin, Y (reason: she owes me $300)
7) Some dude at Food 4 Less last night (reason: he ran into me with his basket, didn't apologize, then proceeded to act like he didn't speak english, only to offer me "coupons?" while I was packing my groceries. Maybe that was his way of apologizing for pushing me. Well, f*ck it, he still made the list.)
...and last but not least, an old addition to a new list:
8) my 40-something loser co-worker (reason: for giving me the silent treatment this morning FOR NO REASON! No reason, people. I stood 6 feet away from her desk, called her name and asked if she wanted anything from the vending machine, and the trick ignored me! Can you believe that???)

So if you are a person that I know, please bust your ass and keep yourself off this list. Because you really don't want me to sick Karma on your ass. That b*tch is my best friend and she handles her business. I just sit back and watch the mayhem, then take full credit. She doesn't mind, she's on probation anyway.

Karma is my co-pilot,
TR