Dear life,

On Saturday night I knew I was going to a frat party with a "topless waitress." What I didn't know was that I would be the ONLY OTHER GIRL THERE and that by "topless waitress" you meant nasty naked pierced girl doing a sex show with a dildo drill. Therefore you can't really blame me for drinking mass quantities and then blacking out and (evidently) telling my boyfriend's pledge class that my boobs are bigger than the gross stripper's. I might feel bad for for making my boyfriend miss the "show" but I feel much worse that he spent the remainder of the evening cleaning my vom off of a cab, the door of our apartment building, & our bathroom floor. Sick life for real.

~LaDiva~