Dear Butterflies in My Stomach,

Please stop showing yourselves every time Work Crush says or does something sweet. Apparently you have failed to realize that WC has a fiancee, and that shit's just not gonna fly. I will not allow you to confuse me into falling for someone who has been dating his gf for five years, just because he buys us coffee and pastries and tells us we're smart and cute. Also, just because I choose to replay in my head some of the scenes from the last week does not give you license to start flapping about. Seriously, save your energy for someone who isn't engaged and several years over thirty, and oh yeah, did I mention, has worked with my father.

Keep this up and I'll have to drown you with tequila.

R ... the *original* one.

PS No really, what part of "stop" do you not get?