Dear Roommate's Girlfriend:

I live with guys; one of them is your boyfriend. Get over it. Stop glaring at me every time I, God forbid, speak in your boyfriend's general direction. And how dare you have the audacity to be bitchy to me. Everyone else's girlfriends are nice, down to earth, and get along with me like normal adults. Why do you have to suck? You are why I hang out with guys: because girls make me want to fight them.

You're a bitch,
ML