Dear Facepubes-

Why are you reddish? There's no red hair anywhere on me.. I'm the most guido looking person ever. And my dark brown hair is a far cry from the carrots you're trying to sprout of my face. Sick. In fact, you're beautiful locks were glistening in the sun yesterday, and some girl asked me if I had barbeque sauce on my face. I told her to lick me and taste it.

Suffering from gingeritis,

-MP