Dear Skeeze-Ball Property Manager of my Apartments,

At first glance it may seem as though you are a nice friendly guy as you jubilantly greet the new tenants (and sometimes their parents), but as soon as you open your mouth to speak past the first hello it becomes quite apparent to everyone just how sketchy you are. Amazingly enough, your comments to parents about how they won't have to worry about their daughters because you will "have your eye on them all the time" are not reassuring as you might imagine, but rather quite disturbing. Likewise, your "personal interest" in your tenets' lives is nothing short of creepy. Your practiced spiels make you come off sounding like a smarmy used car salesman. Lay off and just be normal for once. Your lies impress no one.

Thinking you have missed your calling in an alternate profession,
Cass