Dear Fence,

JC! Get the hell out of my way. Granted, you were blatantly behind me, but common sense would tell you that if a car is backing out towards you, MOVE! Instead, you stood there like the stubborn bitch that you are and ripped off my bumper instead. However, you did not go unscathed. I'm pretty sure my Honda took out a chunk of your fug brown post, and the green paint I left behind is an obvious scar that you will keep with you until you're repainted. I hope you learned your lesson.

Hating You With Vengeance,
Mo
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