Dear Missy Elliott,

i was just thinking about something...all of your songs...they're about guys. You talk about your cooch not failing your man, how you love dongs of all sizes, and your distaste for one-minute men. That's cool and all, but when I think about it, I can't picture you getting freaky with a guy. All I see is you in oversized clothing, a military haircut, and your boobs taped back trying to get some girl to go home with you. how is it possible that you like boys and not girls? why don't other people notice that it's weird when you say "I don't gotta do much to make you get it up"?

So Curious,
A