Dear Phil, lead vocals for Olympia,

Thanks for inviting my friends and I to your house party in that f-ing mansion. Although we spent half the night cracking up about how this was as sketchy and redonk as various random high school parties from back in the day we had a great time (the free beer and liquor hit the spot). Your DJing skills were pretty good, especially since you played everything I wanted to hear in an attempt to woo me. Just one question....have you EVER succesfully used the following pick-up line:

Phil: This can't be the last time I see you.
Me: Umm..ok.
Phil: Are you on myspace?
Phil: Facebook?
Me: yyeeeaaaahhh
Phil: Alright I'll find you.

You started off great but towards the end....a bit stalkerish. I know we are this new generation from cyberspace but how about asking a girl out on a date I person. Who knows if you will ever actually see me again and I am not the type of person to respond positively to "pokes".

NOT accepting your friend request,

PS I know the only reason we were even invited to your party was due to our ability to "booty dance to even your type of music"...but in reality with enough booze I can booty dance to pretty much anything.

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