Dear Kiel,

A few issues that should be brought to your attention:

1) Completely unprovoked biting of people you barely know is generally not considered socially acceptable -- just a hint. Especially when you bite multiple times and hard enough to leave a mark. Save that shit for the bedroom, OK?

2) Acting like a total jerk as a means of flirting hasn't really worked since what, like, third grade? You need to brush up on your moves. A well-timed compliment and/or actual conversation with a girl can work wonders.

3) Who spells "Kyle" K-I-E-L anyway? I mean, really.

Three Strikes - You're Out,

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