Dear Sketchiest Bouncer Ever (Complete with Rat Tail, Spikes, and Gold
Shiny Cowboy Hat With A Mini-Skull Dangling from the Brim),

First you kick me out of your club for being too drunk at 9:30pm, force water down my throat, sit me on the curb and almost call the cops on me. THEN you let me back in and offer to buy me a shot when I thank you for not getting me arrested? Something is wrong with this picture. Are you seriously that pathetic that you are willing to buy me more alcohol knowing I'm already too drunk to function, just so that I MIGHT sleep with you? Well, my Life Rule No. 2 clearly states, "Never turn down free liquor." So Bouncer Dude, I accept your challenge. I will get as drunk as possible off your free drinks and STILL MANAGE TO REFUSE YOUR ADVANCES.

Me: 1
Bouncer: 0 (and also down 40 bucks)

Game, Set, and Match,

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