Dear Little Brother,

If you and your girlfriend could stop being freaking cute that would be awesome. All those pictures of you giving her a piggyback ride on the beach while kissing (tricky maneuver) are so incredibly heartwarming, I feel like I'm squeezing a puppy. According to facebook picture documentation, you are the seemingly perfect couple. Way to go. It must be nice to achieve successful and healthy relationships.

....

Please don't get married and have babies before me.

Your Big Sis,
A