Dear Uncontrollable Shyness,

We are 23 which is something I guess we need to keep reminding ourselves. This is not that time you were 5 and the snowflake in the church play and suddenly crying because your mom forced you on stage. NOR is this the 8th grade when you lied and said your parents wouldn't let you go on the big field trip just so your boyfriend wouldn't try to hold your hand. You're a big girl now and normal social functioning is expected even when you get embarassed. It's NOT socially acceptable to run off Napoleon Dynamite style in any given situation no matter how bad your urge is to flee.

Stop catching me so offguard. You are painfully bad and so extremely contradictory to my personality that you make me look like a bipolar weirdo.

Love,
A