Dear my Alma Mater,
This weekend marked the second time in the past year I've been caught hooking up with random boys at a dinner on your dime. Unfortunatly the word "discreet" does not seem to be in my vocabulary, although the words "really freaking obviously disappears during the middle of dinner to go make out by the lake" are. I fear I might be getting a reputation at the alumni house as some sort of sure thing. Than again, without the cute boys and copious amounts of free wine you provide me, this would never be possible.
You guys are better than a bar, and cheaper too,