Dear Officer Stylin',
So, while in South East DC (the fringes) outside of Ugly Mugs, I was entranced by young men with rich automobiles. I'm poor. I want money. You however, were entranced because these young men with rich automobiles were not descents of Caucasia and were kinda loud. Put those two together, and you got some stolen vehicles I suppose. While you were digesting the scene, I noticed you got a little caught up, because you fell out of your cruiser. Oh, did I say cruiser? I meant segway. They don't off-road the treacherous sidewalk/planter area apparently. You darted around with your mustache glowing with excitement, but this buzzed kid saw it. Laughed silently. Listened to more Killers on his iPod (thanks student loans). Really though, who are you kidding? Since they weren't white, that means they're genetically faster than your hell on wheels. Kidding guy, respect the uniform blah blah, oh just ride a horse. Those things scare anything coming down the street.
Wondering when the gong hits and he gets yanked out of DC via debt,