Dear Organic Raw Kombucha Tea,

You were not a wise purchase. You taste FOUL and I'm pretty sure you are mildly alcoholic. In fact, you taste kind of like what I expect hard cider would taste like if I made it in my kitchen sink and used seaweed and spinach instead of apples. You kinda make me want to vom, but I'll prob still drink all of you bc your label claims to support my metabolism, appetite control, immune system, weight control, liver function, and give me healthy skin and hair. And also bc I'm kind of hoping you are as alcoholic as you taste and maybe will make the rest of the day a little more entertaining.

Cheers,
CF

3 comments:

Unknown said...

You know how this is made right? It's a giant "mushroom" fungus that floats on top of the tea and ferments. Yummy. It is VERY good for you though. Too bad it tastes like piss.

Anonymous said...

so I got for a present (as a joke) this "ballerina tea" ... then I drank it once and realized it tasted ...kind of like vomit. THEN I read the box and realized it was ...basically a laxative. holy shit.

Corrin said...

hey, i bought you that fuckin' ballerina tea and you'll drink it and shit your brains out and you'll LIKE IT.

CF: try the yogi brand teas. they are not foul. theres a fasting tea, a green weight-loss appetite curber and a ton of other good stuff. whole foods! or your friendly local hippie grocery store.