Dear Guy I Was In Love With In High School/Senior Class's "Wittiest Male",

I ran into you for the first time tonight in 5 years. Turns out I'm still in love with you. Awesome. I would probably ditch anyone to be with you. Do me a favor and stop shamelessly hitting on me. We all know you don't mean it. Kinda like between '98-'02 when you used to do this, then never asked me out once.

Please Don't Give Me The Same Run-Around,
A