Dear Checking Account.

Please do not put (-) signs anywhere in the vicinity of my money. Today you said (-$243), and it's only the 6th day of the month, payday is 8 days away and I haven't written my monstrous
New York City rent. That really hurt my feelings checking account.

In the last issue of O Magazine, it said the perfect flirt goes into "student" mode by cocking her head to one side, raising her eyebrows and giving interested body language. So here I am, Checking Account. My head is titled, I'm panting like a puppy and asking you how to make funds miraculously appear in my pocket.

Is that a 5-spot in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

being broke ain't no joke,

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