Dear Vanessa Hudgens,

I'm sorry, but I just can't get over this. I.AM.DEVASTATED. How could you?! do you know how many poor adolescent girls there are out there whose dreams of being just like you have been shattered in the past 24 hours?! How many MOMS have banned their kids from watching HSM ever again?! How much Disney is probably reconsidering signing you on for a third movie to protect their squeaky clean image?!

Ok, I know I'm overreacting, shit like this happens, and good people have sex, but gah. Did you have to fuck up my world? I just REALLY wanted to believe you and Zefron were having an innocent young love affair instead of a sex-crazed, post-pubescent, hormone fest. I mean, I guess it's hot and all, but it was better left up to the imagination. Your "fuck me, I'm hot" faces are best left for the cover of Vogue instead of amateur pictures of you on your childhood bedspread.

Still At A Loss,
A

P.S. I expected this from "Dumbass Sorority Girl From Undergrad", but not you, Gabriella Montez. No ma'am.
P.P.S. If this is all some elaborate cover-up to mask the fact that Zefron likes boys I will most likely fall into a deep depression, never leave bed again, and gain 250 lbs from eating Doritos on an hourly basis to cope.