(preface: the below mentioned fable is about a grasshopper who spends his summer merrily, while the ants store up food for winter. come winter, the grasshopper is fucked and the hard-working ants throw him a bone after scolding his carelessness)

Dear Children's Fables That Attempt to Teach Stories, specifically The Story of the Grasshopper and the Ant:

GET OFF ME!!! I GET that I have to bill as many hours in the remaining months of the year as I did the entire first 8 months of the year!!! I GET that it's football season, the weather is getting all nice and fall-like, and the holidays are approaching and I can't even take time off to go to the bathroom!!! I GET IT!!! However, you should really remember that the Ant busted his ass while the Grasshopper dicked around and got bombed all summer and then the Grasshopper totally got taken in by the Ant and was saved anyway.

Ppppbbfftttt!!!!
b