Dear Boss,

You give new meaning to the phrase "dumber than hair".

When someone is being sarcastic - they are using irony to make a funny remark about a person or situation. They already know the contradiction that they are stating. That is why it's sarcastic. A hint that someone is using irony is when the rest of my coworkers are laughing.

So I don't need you to explain the situation to me as if I don't understand it. You are the one that doesn't understand it.

A rhetorical question is a question asked solely to produce an effect or to make an assertion and not to elicit a reply.

Your inability to comprehend this is astounding. Your inability to comprehend this even after being told that the statement was rhetorical and/or sarcastic is infuriating.

So next time, please excuse yourself from the witty office banter that everyone else understands and enjoys. Stop whining and crying about how hard your job is.. We all know how hard your job is because we all know that you have gerbils sleeping in your brain. (They can't even get on the fucking wheel!)

I know that this whole explanation is completely over your head, so I am just going to close with the following:

shut the fuck up.

can i have next friday off?
-blondie