Dear Hot Aussie From Back In High School,

Yes, I stalk you on facebook. Your pictures are so unbelievably hot and you are always nude. I LOVE IT. Also, you look like pretty much the most fun person in the world. Why are you toying with me like this?! Please stop having a girlfriend. Please. Also, stop living in Australia. Immediately. My Britney wants some company and I KNOW how you like it down under.

Surriously,
CF