Dear Readers:

I teared up a little at the interest in my date. (I'm guessing it's mostly b/c of the dong of all time, but that's okay.)

Since I didn't get what I wanted (seriously, WTF self-control?!?!), I'll tell you all this:

I could wield that thing like a light saber.

Can't wait to grab it and make that "wahh-wahh" sound,
b