Dear Blondie,

OMG. I have spent the day worrying about your lady parts. How can this happen? Most importantly, could it happen to me? In your honor I have removed every battery operated sex toy from my home. During my sex toy exfoliation, I swear my vag cried. I have promised her to buy new ones immediately under the condition that you lead me toward a safer option. Please advise, no need for anyone else to make the same purchase that lead you to such a distressing situation.

fearful of third degree burns,
jc