Sometimes I think I miss college...then I read shit like this. Then I'm like, "Wait, no."
Dear Ex Boyfriend & Sort of Ex Friend,
You guys suck. Honestly, everything was decent and not so awkward and I was like, "Sweet. They're not gonna hook up. He's actually kinda flirting with me. And, she's real drunk and real dumb, so yeah! This is awesome." And, then I turn to go upstairs and y'all are making out? That sucks. Like, really, really sucks. Because ex friend, you KNEW I still liked him. You did! And, you just can't do that!! There's a nice little secret girl rule that we all know and we all try and follow. Right? Am I right? Of course I am. And, you DIDN'T. Then you went back to his dorm and God only knows what happened there. I mean, fuck. Where's the common motherfucking decency? And ex boyfriend, I've drunk commented you a few times now... so you also KNEW. And, you were flirty beforehand. Reallll flirty. So, if bitch had gone home, who woulda ended up in your dorm? Motherfucking me. So, sweetheart, don't ever do your little weepy "everyone was talking shit" face. Fuck that. They WERE talking shit. Because you are an asshole. I mean, I was sorry that I fucked everything up. But, apparently, you were fucking shit up, too? Nice. Really fucking nice, douchebag.
Also, ex friend, I would really try and refrain from getting intoxicated because you do this thing where you smirk and toss your hair and think you're realllllllllll hot shit, but you're swaying and you look real stupid. Just sayin'.
Hey, Where's That One Boy at I Cheated on Ex-Bf With? Cause His Cock is HUGE, and He Actually Knows What He's Doing,