Dear Teen Wigger In the Mall,

a.) I'm too old for you.
b.) I probably listen to the same music as you, but I'm still way out of your league.
c.) "Sup?" with wandering eyes is not a legitimate pick-up line.
d.) Why are you even here? Last time I checked there isn't a Sean John store in this mall and I'm guessing you probably don't have a frequent buyers card to the Banana Republic.

Love,
A