Dear Self,

You are up for a promotion at work. The boss said you are "at the top of his list." Try not to blow it by making idiotic and disrespectful remarks to that same boss while he's still in the process of sizing you up, seeing if you have the chops to make it as an editor. Be humble and keep your distance, moron. And keep your nose clean by staying off Dear Life when he could be walking up behind you.

With your best interests at heart,
L(34F)